


almost

by thethrashparticle



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Gen, sorry this is so emo, this is essentially just jason’s bar mitzvah but not in song form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thethrashparticle/pseuds/thethrashparticle
Summary: When Whizzer Brown passed away, he was surround by his friends.Well, almost.





	almost

**Author's Note:**

> whizzer and jason’s relationship is really important to me and no one ever talks about it so i decided to talk about it in the saddest way possible

When Whizzer Brown passed away, he was surrounded by his friends. 

Well, almost. 

Minutes before Whizzer passed away, he was surrounded by friends. About an hour before that, he had decided to die. It was the first day in months that he had been by himself. No doctors, no friends, no lover. Just Whizzer. 

He wanted to leave when he was alone. He didn’t want to cause a fuss, he’d been dramatic enough about this whole disease. He wanted to do something quietly for once, and he was going to. Then Jason showed up. 

Bright, kind, slightly obnoxious Jason practically burst into Whizzer’s hospital room. Whizzer took a deep breath as Jason spoke. 

“Whizzer!” Jason exclaimed. “I figured it out! If I have my Bar Mitzvah here, then-“ He was cut short by the others following him into the room. 

“Surprise!” They all said cheerfully. Whizzer gave the nicest smile he could muster, though it probably ended up as more of a grimace. 

Marvin crossed over to where Whizzer was sitting and placed a kiss on the top of his head. “Jason had the brilliant idea to have his Bar Mitzvah here,” Marvin explained with a small, fond smile. It turned to a concerned one as he rubbed Whizzer’s back and asked, “How are you feeling?” 

Like he was Peter Pan and his soul was his shadow. “Fine,” Whizzer said with a smile. “How are you?” 

Marvin only gave him a closed mouth smile as Mendel announced, “Whizzer, close your eyes while we redecorate a bit. It is alright if we decorate, right, Charlotte?”

“Marvin, help me unwrap the food, will you?” Cordelia asked kindly. Marvin reluctantly pulled himself away from Whizzer. 

Whizzer pulled himself up from his chair and struggled over to his hospital bed. At the same time, Trina called out, “Photo!” He responded in a firm protest, but everyone smiled and posed with him anyway. He really was not catching any breaks today

The photo was taken quick and painlessly. Trina set out to decorate the room as nicely as she could, pulling flowers and table cloths out of her bag. Cordelia gave everyone a plate stacked high with hors d’oeuvres. Whizzer supposed maybe this time they weren’t that bad, if only he could stomach them. 

Mendel began to pass around champagne in Dixie cups. He even gave a small bit to Jason, who was overjoyed. “Cheers!” said Trina, attempting to sound excited. Everyone responded in full. Whizzer laughed as he watched Jason recoil at the taste. 

“Let’s go get you dressed,” Marvin said to Whizzer. “Mendel, lets get this thing started.”

“Uh, I don’t mean to interrupt,” said Whizzer, stopping everyone in their tracks. “But I believe that as the host of this shindig, I must make a very sappy toast.” He held up his Dixie cup. The other adults held theirs at the ready. 

He wanted to say something witty, something that would lighten the mood, something Whizzer-ish, but he couldn’t find it. This could be his last speech of his life. If he started now, he would never stop. So he spoke about what was keeping him here, in this moment. 

“To Jason’s Bar Mitzvah.” Whizzer said finally, tears beading at the corners of his eyes. If he spoke anymore of Jason he would fall apart. Everyone raised their cups with their own teary smiles. A “L'chayim,” was spoken. The moment was full of sunlight. 

The men disappeared behind the room divider while Charlotte and Cordelia helped Trina finish decorating, speaking in hushed voices and helpless glances. Marvin helped Whizzer get into his suit while Mendel helped Jason.

They had barely gotten the shirt on and Whizzer was already out of breath. He was desperately trying to hide it, but Marvin noticed anyway. “It- here,” said Marvin, voice sad but desperately trying not to be. “I brought something else anyway.” 

They got Whizzer’s hospital gown back on, trying to ignore just how skinny he had gotten. Marvin pulled out a robe to wrap around him. Whizzer couldn’t stand the look in his eyes. He reached out, grabbed Marvin’s tie, and flipped it over to check the tag. “Jesus, Marv, where’d you get this tie? The gift shop?”

Marvin laughed with a full smile, a tear falling out and getting caught in the sunlight. When he looked back up, he was looking past Whizzer. Whizzer turned. 

There stood Jason, in an almost-perfectly-tailored suit and his yarmulke, shoulders covered by his prayer shawl. Everyone was silent for a moment. 

Whizzer cleared his throat a bit so it didn’t break as he spoke. “Gentlemen,” he said. “Do you mind if me and Jason have a moment?” Mendel and Marvin nodded at each other and stepped outside of the room divider. 

Jason had gotten a bit taller, coming up to the middle of Whizzer’s chest. He debated crouching to meet his eye, then figured he wouldn’t be able to get back up, and he didn’t need Jason lifting him off the floor. Jason was a man now, anyway. You only crouch when you talk to children.

Whizzer settled on holding out his hands palms up. “C’mon, gimme yours.” Jason pulled a face, causing Whizzer to roll his eyes. “I know, it’s girly. Humor me.” He put his hands in Whizzer’s.

Whizzer loved Marvin, and he loved Cordelia and Charlotte. Hell, he even loved Mendel and Trina, deep down. But he really, truly loved Jason. He wanted to convey this somehow, but he didn’t know how to start. Instead he said, “What were you sayin’ to me earlier when you walked in?”

Jason perked up a bit. “Oh, I was trying to tell you that I figured it out. I talked to Gd and said that if I got Bar Mitzvahed, then He’d have to make you better.” 

That was almost too much for Whizzer to handle. He squeezed Jason’s hands tight and took a deep breath. “Jason,” he started, tears gathering in his eyes. “You know I love you, right, kid? More than anything, even more than I love your dad.” Jason nodded, eyes wide and worried. Whizzer tried to collect himself. “I need you to know that... if and when I die, it’s not because Gd didn’t keep up His deal with you. Gd is trying His hardest, I’m sure, but, I’m- I’m tired, Jason. I don’t know if I have the energy in me to get better.” Jason opened his mouth to protest. Whizzer cut him off. 

“I’m gonna ask you for a favor, Jason. I need you to go get Bar Mitzvahed anyway, even if maybe it doesn’t work in your favor. Sometimes being a man means you do things you don’t want to do.” Jason looked back and forth between Whizzer’s eyes, almost panicked, looking for help. He took his hands from Whizzer’s and wrapped his arms around him tight, pushing himself into Whizzer’s stomach. Admittedly, it knocked Whizzer’s breath out, but he hugged Jason back as hard as he could. 

“I love you,” Jason said into Whizzer’s chest. 

Whizzer let out a soft laugh and rubbed Jason’s back. “I love you too, kid.” They stayed like that for a moment until Whizzer forced time to start again. “Now let’s go do this before your mother explodes.”

The two finally exited from behind the divider. Mendel stepped in and helped Whizzer walk. He whispered a quick, “Fix his tie!” into Marvin’s ear as he walked Jason over to the hospital table disguised as a podium. 

The two men stood practically arm-in-arm in order to keep Whizzer standing. Jason took a small Torah out from under the shawl and placed it on the table. 

As Marvin turned Jason towards him to fix his tie, Whizzer’s breath caught in his throat. From the tears in Trina’s eyes and the small smiles on Charlotte and Cordelia, he knew they saw it too. He looked just like Marvin. 

The tie was straightened, and Marvin leaned down to say some words to Jason, who was giving him a beaming smile in return. They shared a brief and tight hug, then Marvin beckoned Mendel over to start the ceremony. Whizzer followed without much of a choice. 

“Son of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,” Mendel started. “Son of Marvin, son of Trina...” He shared a kind look with Whizzer. “Son of Whizzer, and son of Mendel.” He then looked towards the other pair in the group. “And Godchild of Cordelia and Charlotte...” 

Everything inside of Whizzer was screaming. From having to stand for this long, yes, but mainly for the fact that this was Jason’s Bar Mitzvah. It wasn’t in a temple, there were no center pieces, there weren’t crowds of people to celebrate this beautiful, brilliant child. It was only seven people shoved in a hospital room on a Saturday afternoon. Jason was going to grow up and either lie and say his Bar Mitzvah was a party to end all parties, or tell the truth, that it was in a dimly lit room in the unknown disease ward. 

The part that made Whizzer the most furious was that they were here because of him, not Jason. It ended up not being about Jason at all, but about his dying “father,” dying from an illness that only kills, dying from something that only gets men. Everyone knows what kind of man. Everyone knows that people will glance at Whizzer’s grave, read the date, think twice; Wonder if it’s the disease that got him, a thriving young man in the 80s. 

Whizzer dragged himself back to the present. How could he be so selfish to only focus on himself right now? His son was getting Bar Mitzvahed, for Christ’s sake.

His son. That made Whizzer’s chest want to burst so much that it ached. His genius, caring son who was selfless enough to have his Bar Mitzvah at a place where Whizzer could be. A child kind enough to not need a giant party for one of the biggest days of his life, who only really wanted to have his friends and family around. That was enough for him. 

Suddenly, Whizzer didn’t feel so bad about the whole, “dying,” thing. Not about leaving these people behind, at least. Jason was going to be alright, and if Jason was alright, everyone would be too. Everything will be alright. 

The farther they got into the ceremony, the more Whizzer’s vision began to blur, the more his legs felt like they were going to give out. As it finally reached it’s end, as Jason said his finally prayer, Whizzer reached over and gripped his shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Whizzer said, warmly. Jason only responded with his eyes full of confusion, and then borderline terror as Whizzer began to collapse. 

Charlotte left Cordelia’s side and stood Whizzer back up, walking him quickly out of the room. Marvin stopped Jason from trying to follow, turned him back to Trina, and hurried after Whizzer. 

When Whizzer Brown passed away, he was surrounded by his friends. Almost. 

While he was dying he was surrounded by his friends, his hovering friends, his unlikely lovers, his son. When he let out his last breath, he was in Charlotte’s arms in the hallway of a hospital, Marvin not far behind. It wasn’t quiet, it wasn’t subtle, it wasn’t what Whizzer wanted at all. But sometimes being a man means you do things you don’t want to do.

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry


End file.
